Tick Tock
by SkaianClouds
Summary: Cover by fir3h34rt on DA Karkat and Terezi somehow wind up at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, and some things have changed. While they try to figure out what's going on, the Golden Trio tries to figure out their secrets, and there's only so much time before everything comes crashing down. Tick tock, your time is running out. Suck at summaries, ahaha. Review! T 'cause of Homestuck.
1. Chapter 1

Chpt. 1

No one ever warned him about the consequences.

No one tried to stop it.

Watching the clock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

One year...

Two years...

Three years...

A short period of peace, though much had been lost.

Too much.

He had protected his team from the threat...

But it was not enough.

Would it ever be?

HoNK hOnK  
**LINEBREAK**

Harry Potter had never been more relieved in his life. All he could think about was how he was going back to Hogwarts. He was so absorbed by this fact, that he almost didn't notice the muffled boom that came from upstairs.

"Harry?" Hermione said, "Aren't you going to go see what that was?"

"Huh?" he said as he was pulled out of his thoughts, "Oh yeah, I'll go see. Probably just Kreacher." He paused for moment before saying, "But then again, you never know with this house."

Ron nodded in agreement, "I'll go with you, mate." There was more loud banging from upstairs, "Yeah, I'm _definitely _going with you."

Harry smiled as his friend followed him up the stairs, and the banging continued.

"Blimey, what is that?" he said, "It's coming from our room."

Harry approached the door cautiously, making sure he was prepared for whatever was in there. Of course, nothing could have prepared him for what was behind the door, but that is a dilemma for the near future.

He stole a glance at Ron, who was looking slightly nervous, "Alright, here goes nothing..." He pushed the door open and was greeted by the sound of yelling, loud enough to rival Sirius's mother.

"WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON?" A loud, and extremely irritated male voice came from the room.

"Get off me Nubby! Hmmm, are you sure that's not your real name?" Even though Harry couldn't see the owner of the second voice, he could practically hear the smile in the girl's voice.

"WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT? IT'S NOT EVEN A F***ING SIX/SIX NAME!?" Harry looked at Ron, who was obviously just as confused as he was. Harry made gesture that meant 'let's see how this plays out'.

"Well, if you are _so _particular about culture, then I suppose you could change it to Shouty McNubs."

"F*** NO. NOT EVEN A NOOK-SNIFFING, GRUB-LICKING ASSHOLE WITH HIS OCULAR SPHERES IN HIS PROTEIN CHUTE WHO'S ONLY BREATHED FOR 3 SECONDS WOULD EVEN CONSIDER NAMING THEMSELVES THAT SHIT-ASS EXCUSE FOR A F***ING NAME."

"Ehehehe. Whatever you say Karkles."

"ENOUGH WITH THE F***ING NICKNAMES ALREADY. I'M GOING TO TRY TO OPEN MY F***ING OCULAR SPHERES. LET'S HOPE I DON'T GO F***ING BLIND."

"Eh, it's not near as bright as outside. More like a hive or something like that."

"Fine," the angry voice from before had stopped shouting, "I'm opening them." There was a sharp intake of breath, and then, "Terezi?"

"Mm?" 'Terezi' said, "What is it Karkles?"

"Terezi, you look different." There was cackling from inside the door.

"I was wondering when you would notice!"

"WHAT!?" The shouting was back and as loud as ever, "REALLY!? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME, ASSWIPE?"

"Oh, calm down Karkat. I swear one of these days you're going to pirouette of the f***ing handle," Harry heard Terezi say, "Anyway, _you _were too busy yelling to let me tell you."

Harry and Ron heard grumbling from behind the door, "Then stop calling me those stupid-ass nicknames then." For some reason he had eased up on the yelling.

"Never, Nubby! Ehehehehehehe!" There was another fit of loud giggling, and various profanities.

Harry momentarily wondered why no one else had heard the shouting. A question he fully intended to ask later.

"Fine, _Karkat._"

"Thank you, and wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. What the f*** are you so happy about anyways?"

"The fact that the one thing you're freaking out about is nicknames." There was silence from Karkat or whatever the girl had called him. Harry decided to interrupt their conversation, and nodded at Ron.

"Now," he said softly. The two friends jumped into the room and were greeted by a loud, 'WHAT THE F***?' from Karkat. Harry looked at the two kids in his room that were sitting on the floor, a male positioned across from a girl who was snickering at him from behind her hand. The boy was fairly short, and had black hair even messier than Harry's. He wore a black shirt with a gray Cancer sign on the front. The girl was taller than the boy by quite a bit, Harry could tell even though she was sitting down, and wore reflective red glasses so you couldn't see her eyes. She had messy black shoulder-length hair, and a black shirt with a teal Libra symbol. Her hair was also black.

"Oh, by the way," she paused between laughs, "Did I mention there were some humans outside?"

Karkat began to move across the floor in an attempt to punch her. When he swung, the girl ducked, began to laugh, and brought a white cane with a red dragon's head down on his head. Harry wondered where she got it.

Karkat began to rub the back of his head with his hand while shooting daggers at Terezi, who was laughing and grinning.

She stood up off the floor and turned to the two boys who were quite stunned at the violence just displayed, "So, are you going to introduce yourselves or what?" She took a deep sniff through her nostrils and her face went into an expression of distaste.

"Blar, so dark and dreary. The flavors are all muted," she took another sniff and was by Ron in a flash, with a happy grin, "Oh, but you aren't near as licoricey as the other one," she took a deep breath through her mouth, "Not candy red, but almost. pumpkin and licorice." She sighed contentedly, and moved away from from Ron, who was in a state of shock from having his personal boundaries violated.

"Give it a rest with your weird color fetish, Terezi. They're going to thing we're crazy," Karkat said, still nursing his head.

"What are you doing in my room?" Harry asked suddenly.

Karkat stood up and dusted off his pants, "How would I f***ing know? One moment we're trapped with a couple of f***ass idiots and the next, poof. We look like this in your f***ing hive."  
"Are you in league with Voldemort?" Harry asked.

Terezi laughed, "Hahaha, who's Voldemort? Sounds lame." Harry and Ron exchanged glances.

"You go get one of the Order," he told Ron, who nodded and ran out of the room. Terezi frowned.

"Awww. Where'd pumpkin go?" Harry just stared at her, and turned to Karkat.

"What do you mean 'you look like this'?" Karkat opened his mouth and as he started talking, the wind outside picked up and was a howling din that drowned out his answer, and died down just as soon as it had started. Harry was confused. Karkat just looked annoyed. "Never mind." Harry tried to look at Karkat closely, but the room didn't provide enough light. He scowled at Harry.

Terezi was about to say something when Ron and Sirius came into the room. Sirius took one look at the two foreigners and yelled, "Stupefy!" Karkat fell to the floor a look of loathing on his face.

Terezi raised her arms in a gesture of peace and allowed Sirius to take her out of the room, while Karkat was levitated behind Sirius. Harry followed.

He brought the two kids into the kitchen, and with a flick of his wand ropes wrapped around their wrists. Terezi looked at it with confusion, but ended up shrugging.

He pointed his wand at Karkat and said, "Ennervate." When Karkat gained mobility, he began to shout.

"WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THING YOU'RE DOING? REALLY, WHAT DID WE F***ING DO TO CAUSE YOUR ROTTED THINK PAN TO BELIEVE THAT WE NEED TO BE F***ING-" The rest of his speech was cut off by Terezi, somehow, managing to hit him with her cane, even though her hands were tied.

"Oh, put a sock in it, Nubby. No one cares. Even _you _don't care. Really, if this were a memo..." Terezi trailed off on that note.

Karkat opened his mouth again, but was cut off by Mrs. Weasley, who had just come into the room.

"Oh my god Sirius, what are you doing!? They're children!"

_"__They-," _he said loudly, gesturing towards to the kids, _"-were in Harry and Ron's room!" _He began to shout near the end.

Molly's face paled, "Oh, I'll go get Severus." Sirius turned to look at Karkat, who was trying to gnaw through the rope.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at the boy's futile attempts to get to freedom.

He looked mutinous. "Well, because some grub-licker with the science stick decided to tie me up _for being in a f***ing room_, I thought I would try to chew through the f***ing ropes that bind me. Stupid blunt teeth," he muttered underneath his breath.

Terezi rolled her eyes, or what Harry that was an eye-roll. He couldn't see underneath her red glasses. "Stop being so melodramatic."

He turned to Terezi, directing the same evil glare at her, "I'm going to be as dramatic as I want, thank you very f***ing much."

Another eye-roll. "What next? A tantrum over a f***ing chair?"

"What kind of nook-sniffer would throw a tantrum about a f***ing chair?"

"You." There was a huff, but no further word from Karkat.

**Okay so this is a story I've been working on ****while I work on TLA. I really hope I can finish this story, 'cause I really like the idea and no one's had one like this, so there. I have up to chapter six finished….**

**If anyone seems out of character, sorry. It's my first time writing with homestuck characters and stuff, so yeah. **

**Please review!**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	2. Chapter 2

Chpt. 2

Karkat continued to chew on his ropes. Now that he was in more light, Harry could see the dark bags underneath Karkat's gray eyes. He noticed, as Karkat continued his futile attempts at freedom, that his teeth were slightly sharper than normal. As Terezi smirked at Karkat, Harry saw that she had sharp teeth too. Not sharp enough to make them inhuman, but sharp all the same.

Molly entered the room, followed by Snape who was holding a small beaker with a colorless liquid inside.

"I only have enough for one Sirius. Which one of them will it be?" Karkat frowned at the bottles.

"Are those poison?"

"No, they'll just make you tell the truth," Sirius explained, surprisingly calm considering the situation.

For some reason, Karkat looked expectantly at Terezi, who nodded just slightly.

"Alright. I'll do your truth thing."

Snape passed him the bottle, "Drink it all." Karkat sniffed the bottle disdainfully, took the cork out, and chugged the liquid.

Sirius began to ask questions first. "What's your name?"

"Karkat Vantas."

"What is your companions name?"

"Terezi Pyrope." Karkat was definitely easier to understand without all the yelling and swearing.

"Are you working for Voldemort?"

"No."

"What kind of lusus names their wiggler Voldemort?" Terezi asked from the background, and was promptly ignored. There was an audible sigh of relief from Molly, who was glad that the kids were not involved with the Dark Lord.

"Will you hurt us?"

"Not unless you threaten us."

"How did you get into this house?"

"I... I don't know. One moment I'm on a-" Karkat paused at this point, resisting the potion, but its effects took hold and he continued to talk, but his words, like earlier, were drowned out by the loud howling of the wind. This time, Karkat didn't look annoyed, but thankful.

"Will where you were before concern us?"

"No."

"What are you?" he asked. Karkat proceeded to pass out.

Terezi began to laugh again.

Sirius looked at her curiously, wondering why she was laughing if her friend was passed out. "Why are you laughing?" Then, realizing her hands were still tied and that the kids weren't a threat, waved the ropes away with a flick of his wand.

She laughed and brought the cane down on Karkat's head. He still didn't wake up, and she continued to rap him.

"Hmm, Nubby usually wakes up." Molly looked horrified, but Harry wasn't surprised by the violence, considering the whack she had given Karkat earlier.

She turned to Sirius, "I was laughing because the last time he passed out, he wouldn't wake up for a long time. It was funny, because he was the only one who passed out."

"Why did he pass out?" Molly asked faintly.

"Oh, he was being such a little wiggler. Just because he saw a bit of blood..."

"What was the blood from?" Sirius asked curiously.

"A friend of ours was kindly amputating another's legs while he was asleep." She said while smiling. Seeing their horrified faces, she added, "Oh, but he was so thankful! He just didn't know what was going on until afterwards." She smiled. "Karkat was the only one to pass out. Walked into the room and boom! Nighty night Karkat. He wouldn't wake up to even the most senseless of cane drubbings." She hit him with her cane again, "See? Won't even respond to the nub drubbings."

"Why are you trying to wake him up?" Molly asked softly.

Terezi looked concerned, "Well, ever since this one thing happened, if any of us fall asleep, our subconscious plagues us with visions of gore and death." Molly looked horrified, Sirius looked unsettled, Harry felt sick, and Snape had left the room. "It's the worst for Karkat. He blames himself for what happens. He hasn't slept for..." she paused, "A very long time."

Molly looked at the passed out Karkat, "Oh dear..." Even Harry, despite Karkat's earlier attitude, felt sorry for him.

Terezi turned to look at Sirius, "So, could one of you tell me what's going on around here?"

Sirius looked at Molly meaningfully for a second, until she said forcefully, "Sirius. They have no idea how they got here, and they aren't working for the Dark Lord. At the very least, they should know what mess they landed in."

"Alright," Sirius said, turning back to Terezi, "You're in the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. The Order is a secret group meant to oppose Voldemort, a wizard-," Terezi raised her eyebrows but didn't ask any questions. "-who's trying to kill anyone who isn't a follower of his."

"So you're all wizards?"

"Yeah. You don't sound surprised."

Terezi shrugged, "I've seen weirder."

He nodded and continued with his tale, "Fifteen years ago, he tried to kill Harry when he was a baby, but he couldn't and no one knows why. No one has ever survived the Killing Curse."

She turned to look at Harry and asked, "And you're Harry, right?" He nodded. "That's all I wanted to know. Continue."

"A year ago, he came back from the brink of death. The only problem is, no one believes it. The Ministry is trying its best to cover up any stories. They're making Harry out to be a delusional boy who can't live without fame."

"He doesn't seem like that at all."

"He isn't."

"Is that all?"

"That's the basics." Terezi nodded in acknowledgement.

"Is there somewhere we could put Karkat, that's off the floor?"

Harry who had forgotten Karkat, looked down and saw the look of absolute terror on his face. Mrs. Weasley seemed to notice it too, and picked him up. "Tell Dumbledore what happened. I'm going to put Karkat in one of the spare rooms."

As she began to leave the room, Terezi called out, "Don't tell him it was my idea to get him off the floor!" Mrs. Weasley chuckled and exited the room.

**HOGWARTS**

Dumbledore looked at the curious letter on his desk. He reread it for the third time that day.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I am under the impression that several of my friends have arrived in your world. I, am incredibly baffled by this development and am trying to find the cause as soon as possible. Until then, however, I must discuss their safety. I am under the impression that you are an honorable man and I beg of you to help me keep my friends safe. You have no obligation to do so, however, and if you decide that you would rather not, then there will be no repercussions. If you do offer your hospitality, than I am in your dept. As I have explained earlier, the circumstances around this event are curious, but I will not delve into that subject just yet, as there are more important things to discuss._

_Twelve of my friends have landed in various places in your world, one I believe to be Number 12 Grimmauld Place, but the places are inconsequential as long as you can find them, which I believe you can. These twelve people are unlike anything you've ever seen before. Their arrival is intriguing as I mentioned before, and I fully intend to investigate the causes._

_The reason they need a refuge is because of a close friend of mine who recently became Grimbark. Grimbark is similar to the Imperius Curse in that she is being controlled by another. I believe Hogwarts is the safest place because certain spells and enchantments around the castle do not allow her to pick up our friend's scents. The enchantments around Number Twelve Grimmauld Place also should suffice. One other will be joining Mr. Vantas and Ms. Pyrope as soon as I am able to contact him. It has been quite a challenge, as he is preoccupied running and spreading his scent. Me and my brother hope to join sometime before the end._

_Please send a reply by owl._

_Yours Truly,_

_Rose Lalonde._

Dumbledore sighed and wrote a response to the girl, wondering what he was getting himself into.

**Haha, here's the next chapter. I put it up early, because I felt like it. Haha**

**Guest: I have continued, and I shall continue to do so until I do not. (-bunchofmeaninglessbabble) I'm planning to be at least one chapter ahead of the one i've published. I'm going to get caught up one day at a time. As for shipping, I have one major ship planned, and a few smaller ones. Brace yourself, the ships are sailing. I REPEAT. THE SHIPS ARE SAILING.**

**Homestuck **** Hussie**

**Harry Potter **** J.K. Rowling**


	3. Chapter 3

Chpt. 3

"So, what are your guy's names?" It had been a while since Terezi and Karkat had arrived, and Harry had wasted no time introducing Terezi to his friends.

"Well, you already know Harry," Hermione began, "I'm Hermione, that's Ron," Terezi smiled as she looked at Ron, and took a deep sniff through her nose. Ron edged away from Terezi, and Hermione looked at him, amused. Harry couldn't help but laugh quietly.

"That's Ginny," Ginny waved, "And Fred and George are upstairs."

"Are you related?" Ron nodded.

"Was that your lusus in the other room?"

"What's a lusus?" Hermione asked, intrigued by the unfamiliar word.

"Oh right, I forgot you guys don't have lusus. What do you call them? I think Dave said something about a Bro?" She shrugged, "Eh, whatever. A lusus is a guardian or caretaker."

"Where do you come from?"

"Alternia."

"I've never heard of a place called Alternia." Terezi shrugged, and began to twirl her cane, when it disappeared.

"Where did it go!?" Hermione asked, her eyes wide.

"I captalogued it. I don't really need it."

"Captalogue?" Ron asked, forgetting her earlier space invasions.

"You know, in my Sylladex. Everyone I know had one."

"I've never seen one before," Hermione said, "Can you explain?"

"Hmm, well it turns items into cards, where you can retrieve and store items at will. I use a Scratch and Sniff Modus to retrieve items."

"Can I see one?"

"Sure." Terezi looked up at the ceiling for a moment and a blue and purple card appeared in her hand, and she passed it to Hermione, who looked it over.

"How do you get the item out?"

"Scratch it." Hermione began to scratch the card with her nail, and a yellow dragon stuffed animal with a noose around its neck materialized. Hermione looked at it and picked it up curiously.

"What-?"

"That is Senator Lemonsnout. The smell of lies and deceit still linger."

"What?" This time it was Ron who asked the question.

"Nah, just messing with you. Sometimes I hold court and pretend they're alive just to annoy people. People being Karkat."  
"You really like to annoy him, don't you?" Ron said.

She smiled at him, "Yes I do, Mr. Pumpkin."

"Why do you keep calling me that!?"

She smiled at him, "Because your hair smells like pumpkin."

Ron stared at her, a little weirded out, "What my hair _smells _like?"  
She looked at Ron from behind her reflective glasses, "Yeah, every color has a flavor. Brown smells like chocolate, blue is obviously blue berries, bright orange is pumpkin, and orange is orange creamsicle. Black is licorice, and my very favorite is bright cherry red." She finished and grinned contentedly, "Like Karkat."

"How can you smell colors?" Hermione asked, thinking it was a prank.

"My lusus taught me how to."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Oh, well I'm blind, Mr. Licorice."

"What!? But I haven't seen you trip over anything!"

"Of course not. I can see, smell and taste colors with my nose and mouth."

"Really," Hermione said dryly, "You're blind? Terezi smiled her shark grin, and took her glasses off. She opened her eyes, revealing her scorched corneas. Hermione unsuccessfully stifled a gasp, but Terezi continued to grin as she replaced her glasses.

"Still don't believe me?" Hermione shook her head slowly.

"H-how did-? Hermione asked but was interrupted by Terezi.

"How did it happen? I looked into the sun." Hermione nodded and slumped back in the armchair. Terezi grabbed Senator Lemonsnout and captalogued him before sitting down once again.

"Ah. This is the comfiest-," she paused, as though searching for the right word, "_chair _I've sat on in a long time."

Hermione frowned, having noticed the pause as well, but her thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging sound. Harry turned to look at the cause of the noise, and saw Karkat standing in the middle of the door.

"Really," he said his voice a near shout, "You leave me to sleep in some sort of f***ed up recuperacoon while you just chat up the humans?"

"Well," Terezi said, smiling, "I did give you a good nub thrashing. So it's not my fault you decided to take a nap and not wake up."

He looked at her, the bags under his eyes even darker than before he passed out, "My head hurts." He had stopped shouting.

"Probably due to the aforementioned cane thrashings. Out like a wiggler."

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Is this going to become a regular thing? Whenever I pass out you start hitting me?"  
"You're the one who asked me to wake you up with any means necessary."

"F*** past me!" he shouted. Hermione raised her eyebrows, "But that order still stands."

"Do you want to start a memo on Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory? You can argue with yourself for a bit. Then you can go on a rant about how the only person worse than future you is past you."

Karkat scowled, if possible, even deeper, "F*** them both." Terezi laughed and Karkat said, still scowling, "I'm going to go see if any other assholes are online."

"Have fun with that!" Terezi called out after him, and rolled her eyes, "He can be such a wiggler sometimes."  
Ignoring the foreign term, Hermione asked, "So what did he mean 'future me' and 'past me'?"

Terezi cackled, "Oh gog, it's hilarious! All those memos are filled up with gray blocks of angry text!"

Hermione was going to ask more but was interrupted by an angry shout from upstairs, and loud thumps signaling someone running downstairs.

Karkat entered the room once again, his eyes wide, and his breathing panicked.

"Terezi? You're going to want to see this." Ron was about to say something about how she was blind and couldn't technically see it, but Terezi beat him to it.

"You mean smell it?"

"Yeah, whatever, I don't give a shit, just come check this out." He brought a huge computer with a six legs out.

"What's the husktop for?"

"Just look at this."

Terezi, and the other people in the room moved over to get a better look at the screen. From what they could see it was the beginning of a conversation.

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons at 18:26**

**CG: SOLLUX.**

**CG: SOLLUX.**

**CG: GET ON YOUR F***ING PROFILE ASSWIPE.**

**TA: 2orry kk**

**TA: two bu2y dealiing wiith iimportant 2hit**

**CG: WELL, WHATEVER.**

**CG: THIS SHIT IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT.**

**TA: that could be argued**

**CG: ARE YOU NOT PRANCING THROUGHOUT THE AFTERLIFE ANYMORE AND LOOK LIKE A F***ING HUMAN? **(Karkat had turned away from the other people except Terezi at this point.)

**TA: a2 a matter of fact ii do**

**TA: ii 2uppo2e you reacted badly**

**CG: NO **

**CG: I GOT KIDNAPPED BY SOME F***ING HUMANS WITH ROTTED THINKPANS FIRST**

**CG: AND I *ALSO* GOT INTERROGATED**

**TA: no human2 have found u2 yet**

**CG: WHO'S US?**

**arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:24**

**AG: Karkat!  
AG: Karkaaaaaaaat!**

**CG: NOT NOW VRISKA**

**CG: I'M TALKING TO SOLLUX**

**AG: Fiiiiiiiine!**

**AG: :::;)**

**arachnidsGrip [AG] quit trolling carcinoGeneticist at 18:25**

**CG: WAIT**

**CG: WAS THAT**

**CG: VRISKA?**

**CG: O:B**

**TA: ye2**

**CG: WHO'S WITH YOU**

**TA: cc, ca, and aa**

**CG: HOW?**

**TA: ii dont know**

**CG: KEEP YOUR IDENTITY A SECRET **

**CG: I'M GOING TO GO TALK TO SPIDERBITCH.**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] quit trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 18:28**

**carcinoGenticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip 18:29**

**CG: VRISKA**

**AG: Yes, Karkat?**

**CG: YOU HAVE YOUR EYEPATCH RIGHT?**

**AG: Yes, why?**

**CG: PUT IT ON**

**AG: Okay.**

**CG: I'M NOT GOING TO ASK HOW YOU'RE F***ING ALIVE, JUST WHO'S WITH YOU.**

**AG: You're no fun!**

**AG: 8ut Toreasnore, TC, AC, CT, and Ms. Fussyfangs are here.**

**AG: Why?**

**CG: DON'T REVEAL THAT YOUR TROLLS**

**CG: WE'LL MEET UP LATER.**

**AG: Alright.**

**AG: 8ut **

**AG: Only 8ecause you asked soooooooo politely.**

**CG: F*** YOU **

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] quit trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] at 18:31**

The humans in the room were confused by the look of rage and confusion that had appeared on Terezi's face.

"Spiderbitch."

**Here's chapter 3. I don't know what to say right now, except thanks for the ****favs and follows**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	4. Chapter 4

Chpt. 4

"Who's 'Spiderbitch'?" Hermione asked.

Karkat sighed and rolled his eyes, but Harry saw how confused he looked. Harry wondered why.

"'Spiderbitch'," he said, "Is a name Terezi uses for one of our friends."

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"Well," Karkat started, "She's kind of a huge bitch." Terezi laughed at him, and Karkat scowled. "Her real name's Vriska."

"Why did you turn the computer away from us?" Harry asked.

"Because there are some things in my f***ed up life that I would prefer to keep away from the eyes of prying wigglers."

Karkat captalogued his computer and sat down on one of the armchairs. He looked like he was deep in thought. Even Terezi had stopped grinning and looked unusually serious.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

"Shit so f***ed up, you cannot begin to comprehend in your subpar think pans."

"What Nubby means," Terezi said, "Is that it's complicated."

"So, do you guys know how you got here?" Hermione pressed on with the questions.

"No. One moment I'm just sitting in my Respiteblock, and the next, poof. I'm getting kidnapped by hu-" He was cut off as Terezi punched him in the back of his head, "_people," _he continued as though nothing had happened. Harry figured that he must get punched a lot.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Harry said sheepishly. Karkat grunted in acceptance, but continued to scowl. Harry thought he must do that a lot.

"So, Terezi, what are we going to do about Vriska?" He asked a simple question, but he put a lot of hidden meaning into it.

"I don't know. Wait and see how it plays out? Paradox Space probably lead us here for some reason."

Karkat nodded, and Harry wondered what 'Paradox Space' was.

Hermione, eager to get some more information asked, "So, what's your life been like?" Karkat growled buried his face in his hands.

"So f***ed up I can't even begin to start." Terezi nodded.

"I can't argue with that one."

"Start from the beginning," Hermione suggested.

"No f***ing way," Karkat said.

"I'll tell you about my life since Nubby is being stubborn. I was chosen by a lusus that I never met."

"Chosen? Aren't lusus your parents?" Hermione asked.

"No," Terezi said not explaining more. "Anyways, this was before I was blind. I lived in a forest in a treehouse."

"All by yourself?" Ron asked, and Terezi nodded. "That must have been lonely."

"No, not really. I had eleven friends that I talked to online, Shouty being one of them."

"I used to FLARP with a few of my other friends. Vriska was my partner on Team Scourge. We used to be really good friends," she added looking at Hermione's expression. "Anyway, there was this one FLARPING session, we were playing against our other friends, Tavros and Aradia, and they were on Team Charge." Ginny, who had been pretending to not pay attention earlier, was now staring at Terezi. "So Vriska cornered Tavros and," she paused as though looking for the right word, "pushed him off a cliff."

Hermione gasped, and Harry felt slightly nauseated. His expression was mirrored on Ron's face. Karkat looked bored.

"Did he die?" she asked.

"Oh no, he was just paralyzed from the waist down. He was supposed to die though." Hermione looked horrified, by Terezi continued on with her gruesome story, "Anyways, Aradia tried to get revenge on Vriska. She's kinda got this thing going on where she can here the voices of the dead." Terezi looked absolutely serious as she said this, "She set some of Vriska's vic-" she sounded like she was going to say victims, but paused halfway, "She set some of the ghosts to haunt Vriska. Vriska in turn, manipulated Aradia's matespirit to- to do some pretty horrible things to her. He felt so bad afterwards. He had no idea what he was doing at the time."

"Then it was my turn to get revenge. I was more strategic in getting my revenge. Vriska had something she shouldn't have had. I contacted the owner, and he freaked the f*** out. When Vriska went to go pick it up, it blew up. She lost her eye." Hermione looked horrified at all the violence and maiming Terezi had been talking about.

"So, Vriska decided to get revenge on me by making my lusus tell me to look into the sun. I probably would have died if not for dumb _luck_." She spat the word luck as though it were the worst insult she could think of.

"So, I was blind, my lusus taught me how to survive while blind, blah blah blah. The cycle of revenge ended when Aradia made Vriska pay." Terezi smiled evilly.

"Oh my God, that's horrible."

"It's pretty f***ing normal where we come from," Karkat said, and he sounded unconcerned.

"_Normal_!?"Harry exclaimed.

Karkat nodded, "Our culture is pretty f***ed up. I was never one for all that shit. I prefer to watch romcoms."

Ron laughed thinking he was joking, but Karkat looked dead serious. Terezi cackled, and he ignored it.

"So, what happened to Vriska?" Hermione asked.

"From what I heard, Aradia beat her up pretty badly. Almost died," Terezi said nonchalantly, as though it were a normal part of life. There was a sort of awkward silence between the kids, and Hermione, desperate to break it asked;

"So, what was your life like Karkat?"

Karkat gave her a glare that would have made his lusus proud. "F*** you and f*** my life."

Hermione, who was having trouble getting used to Karkat's exceptionally foul mouth, let her mouth dangle open for a few seconds until she realized what she was doing and closed it, blushing profusely. Terezi cackled, and Ron joined her after a second, and soon everyone was laughing except Karkat.

"You'll have to get used to what come's out of Karkat's foul mouth," Terezi said, still laughing.

"Your mom won't like that very much, will she Ron?" Harry asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No, I don't think she will!" Ron laughed again.

**Hahaha. Crappy ending place, ****but whatever. Review!**

**Homestuck © Hussie  
Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	5. Chapter 5

Chpt. 5

Karkat growled and took out his strange computer after a loud ping could be heard from the air around him. He began to type furiously on the computer, and everyone except Terezi went over to look at the chat.

**ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 20:01**

**EB: karkat!  
EB: come on karkat, i need to talk to you!**

**CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT F***BERT?**

**CG: I SWEAR IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF SOME SORT OF F***ED UP JOKE I MIGHT JUST FLY OF THE F***ING HANDLE.**

**EB: i swear this wasn't because of me karkat!**

**EB: i'm just as confused as you are.**

**EB: i've been trying to keep your guy's identities hidden.**

**EB: i think it's for he best.**

**CG: I COULDN'T TELL.**

**EB: really?**

**CG: YEAH, THOSE BIG WINDS WERE'NT ENOUGH TO TIP ME OFF THAT YOU'RE HERE.**

**EB: ehehe**

**EB: sorry.**

**CG: WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME?**

**CG: I'M PRETTY F***ING BUSY.**

**EB: hahahahahahahaha**

**EB: because entertaining a bunch of humans is busy.**

**CG: F*** YOU.**

**EB: i'm supposed to tell you what's going on.**

**EB: rose told me the basics really quickly.**

**EB: that black-haired kid with the lightning scar is some sort of chosen one.**

**EB: apparently, he survived a curse that no one has before.**

**EB: there's this big bad wizard trying to kill him, but no one knows he's alive except a few people because the government is trying to cover it up.**

**EB: the wizard is supposed to be invincible**

**EB: but nowhere near as strong as jack.**

**EB: so rose struck a deal with the headmaster of the school he goes to.**

**EB: he'll offer you protection from jade and the condesce and english.**

**EB: all you have to do is keep harry safe.**

**CG: FINE.**

**CG: IS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO COME?**

**EB: me and davesprite will be joining you really soon.**

**EB: i just need to figure out how to not be unstuck.**

**EB: i'm actually outside right now.**

**EB: but i can't stay long.**

**EB: i need to keep my scent and rose's and dave's scent spread apart.**

**EB: jade is looking for me.**

**EB: this is the longest i've been solid so far.**

**EB: :/**

**CG: WELL THAT SOUNDS FUN**

**CG: NOTICE MY APPLICATION OF HUMAN SARCASM.**

**EB: bye karkat.**

**EB: don't talk about the game.**

**EB: and open the window.**

**ectoBiologist [EB] quit pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 20:05**

"Who was that?" Harry asked, wondering if Karkat would actually answer.

"Just a friend of mine," Karkat answered. Terezi gave Karkat a strange look with a meaning Harry couldn't place. There were a lot of those lately. Karkat returned Terezi's look with a glare, and recaptalogued his computer before standing up and walking to the nearest window. He pulled it up, and a gust of wind blew into the room, event though there was no sign of wind outside. It subsided quickly, and a strong gust shut the window again.

"What was that?" Hermione asked simply.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about," Karkat growled. Terezi hit him in the back of his head once again.

"Ow! What the f***, Terezi?" Terezi responded with an evil grin directed in his direction.

Hermione took a look out the window, still curious about the strange wind phenomenon that had occurred previously.

"Harry," she began, "It's getting really dark out. We should probably go to our rooms before Ms. Weasley finds us."

Karkat gave her a strange look. "Why the ever loving f*** would you go to sleep at night?"

Ron gave him an amused look, and was most likely going to ask him why he would say something like that, but Hermione beat him to it.

"You don't sleep at night?"

"Why would anyone _not _sleep during the day? I mean, it's f***ing retarded to sleep during the night."

"So, you're nocturnal?"

Terezi shrugged, "Yeah, pretty much. Except for a few of us, because the sun is really bright where we come from."

"How bad is it?" Harry asked.

Terezi took a moment to think, "Well, it depends. For some people, you'd burn up as soon as you stepped outside." Ron let out a low whistle. "But as you go up the hemospectrum, resistance builds. Though there are a handful of people who have complete resistance to it."

"What's the hemospectrum?" Hermione asked.

"The hemospectrum is," Terezi paused, and Karkat took up the lead.

"The hemospectrum is a f***ed up system. If you're really high up there, you're royalty."  
"And if you're on the bottom, you're a peasant?" Hermione asked obviously intrigued. Karkat nodded, a look of utter disgust etched on his features.

"How do you decide where you are on the hemospectrum?"

Terezi glanced at Karkat, and he returned it with a glare. Harry found this rather pointless, seeing that Terezi was blind.

Eventually, Terezi ended up saying, "They just know."

"So where are you two on the hemeospectacles?" Ron asked, and Harry nearly laughed at his word for the spectrum.

Karkat let out a guttural snarl, and stormed out of the room. Harry saw anger on his face, but something else too. Was it...fear? That wouldn't make sense, he thought, and turned his attention to Terezi, who seemed a lot less stressed about it.

"I'm pretty high up there, but not high enough to be considered royalty." She gave a disdainful sniff, "Like I would want too. Most of them are stuck up pricks." Ron gave a short burst of laughter, but Hermione looked thoughtful.

"Why did Karkat storm out?"

Terezi sighed, "If he wants to tell you, he will. I'd just leave him be though." Hermione nodded, accepting her answer.

"We really should get to bed," she pushed, and Terezi nodded.

**LINEBREAK**

Harry lay in his bed, pondering the days earlier events. Judging by the lack of loud snores, Ron was too.

"Harry," he said suddenly, "What do you think those two are?" Harry did not have to ask to know who 'those two' were.

"I dunno," he said, turning over in his bed. "They don't seem bad."

"Yeah, but they're pretty weird aren't they? And that story Terezi told, bloody Hell!"

"Yeah, they seem different. Did you notice how they kept pausing, like they were editing their words? Like, there was something they didn't want us to know?"

"Definitely." There was a long pause. "But I suppose it's up to us to find out, right Harry?"

Harry laughed, "Yep, definitely. We'll find out their secrets. Starting with how they got here." Ron agreed silently, and both boys fell silent as they heard the creaking of Mrs. Weasley's footsteps outside the room. Harry turned over once again. As he lay silent in his bed, he listened to Ron's snores. He took a moment to open his eyes. The old room was dark, the only source of light was the moonlight that shone through the dusty window. The small amount of light allowed the shadows to be shown. Harry couldn't help feeling uneasy as he looked into the shadows that seemed longer than normal. He felt as though he would never fall asleep, when he was plunged into unconsciousness.

Instead of the long hallway he had become accustomed too, he was standing on a checkerboard. It expanded, and he was standing on a world covered with black and white squares. Small black and white people's bodies lay strewn across the ground, blood pooled around their mauled bodies. Next to him, one survivor stood, looking at his hand which was glowing with a strange golden light. He blinked tears out of his eyes, and began to march across the desolate battlefield.

Harry awoke sweating, the night's dream already fading to the back of his subconscious.

Across the hall, another was awaking, trying his hardest to push his dream to the back of his head.

**Well, my dad's in the hospital so the next chapter won't come as quickly, but I'll try. Hurg**

** : Thank you for the review! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside uwu**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling **


	6. Chapter 6

Chpt. 6

Karkat was standing on the Land of Pulse and Haze. A dark shadow fell on him from above, and he felt his insides freeze up. Fear coursed through his veins, because he knew no one would be there to bail him out. He found Terezi standing next to him, and he had to watch as the monster plunged its sword into her gut.

He fell down next to her, sobbing mutant red tears. Her teal blood pooled out in a puddle underneath her and soaked into his clothes as he held her close. Noir wasted no time in getting rid of his next victim, departing in a green flash.

And then Karkat was drowning, LOPAH covered in a sea of candy red and teal blood. And then more colors, and he was soaked in all the colors of the rainbow. He was choking, gagging on the sour blood, screaming for someone who could get rid of the pain. His chest hurt so much, the pain felt so real, and-

Karkat woke up, his red-tinted sweat staining the sheets he had been lying on. Terezi was next to him, shaking him. And he was screaming, and then she sat next to him, and he knew he had to stop crying before any of the humans came in.

Terezi sat next to him, not saying a word, but she didn't have to. Just her presence was enough to soothe his fears.

Harry and Ron opened the door, a nervous Hermione trailing behind them. Each looked apprehensively at Karkat. Terezi, sensing a tantrum, moved to the other side of the room and held her hands close to her ears.

Ron looked closer at his face, "Are you bleeding?" Karkat promptly freaked the f*** out.

"WHAT SORT OF NOOK-SNIFFERS THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO INTRUDE ON THE TINY F***ING BIT OF PRIVACY I GET!? NO, I AM NOT F***ING BLEEDING!" Karkat wiped the remains of the tears away from his face. Terezi laughed silently behind her hand, and went unnoticed by Karkat.

Hermione was staring at Karkat's red-stained sheets, her eyes wide with wonder. "Why's your bed stained?" she asked meekly.

"CAN ANY OF YOU ASSWIPES GET IT THROUGH YOUR ROTTED THINK PANS THAT I WANT SOME F***ING PRIVACY!?"

Harry raised his hands and tried to placate Karkat, who was shouting incomprehensible strings of insults, quickly turning very red in the face. Harry pulled Ron out of the room, as Hermione had already retreated to the safety of the hall.

"Bloody hell, that guy has a temper," Ron said right before the door was slammed in his face.

Karkat was very angry, but also scared. After all, they had seen his tears. It didn't help that they were the color of his blood, but it was that he had been crying over a stupid horrorterror that scared him. He had them almost every night, and he was reduced to a f***ing wiggler.

"Hey Karkat?"

"Yes Terezi?" he answered grumpily.

"You have a change of clothes, right?"

"Yes, of course I do. I alchemized some on the meteor just in case. Because I actually captalogue useful items."

"We need to talk about what happened," Terezi said changing the subject, ominously serious. Karkat was about to answer, but the door creaked open. He growled at it, like it would make it close again. It didn't, so he got up and shut it with a loud bang.

"Yeah, like why I don't f***ing remember anything about the new session."

"And why I'm blind again. Not that I'm complaining, though," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah, well good for you, but we have bigger problems. _Like why we're f***ing humans_."

Terezi grinned, "Yeah, that's kind of an important thing right now."

"No f***ing kidding."

Terezi laughed at Karkat, "But you don't look that different. You had such tiny nubs anyway."

Karkat glared at Terezi evilly, "They are not that f***ing small."

"Yes they are."

Karkat grimaced, but pushed on. "Now is not the f***ing time to discuss _my perfectly normal horns._ We have more important things to deal with."

Terezi gave a mock bow, "Yes, oh great leader."

"I gave that up. I don't want to be responsible for other people's mistakes. Especially now that they're all alive again. How the f***does that happen anyway?"

Terezi shrugged, "F*** if I know."

"Well, this is all fine and dandy, but we need to know what happened after we got to the new session. What can you remember?"

Terezi frowned, "I think I was on LOLAR with Rose. That's about all I can remember."

"Well, I remember Kanaya buying some blood off of John's evil f***ing grandma, so there's not much there."

Terezi raised her eyebrows, "Kanaya bought some blood from the Condesce? I could definitely use that in some blackmail."  
"I just said it was John's evil grandma, not Her Imperious Condescension. How rotted is your think pan anyway?"

Terezi scoffed, "My think pan is just fine, it's your mutant little think pan that's rotted. Grandma Crocker was being controlled by the Condesce, remember?"  
"I don't give a f***."

"Just out of curiosity," Terezi continued, "Who's blood was it? And how much did it cost?"  
"Everyone who died on the meteor that one day. And a f***ing lot of boonbucks. Several million I think."  
"Oh. I bet there wasn't that much violet left." Terezi began to cackle, and Karkat, promptly ignoring her, remembered something that he should have remembered earlier.

"Oh right, Crocker speared me through the chest with her spork, and then brought me back to life."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. It f***ing hurt. I want to kill the f***ing nook sniffer."

"I'm sure it did Nubby. I'm sure it did." Karkat muttered some insults directed at her, but Terezi just laughed them off.

"We should go down before the mother lusus starts to worry." Karkat nodded, but not before saying, "I'm going to see if Sollux found anything new." He pulled out his husktop and growled at it a bit, but eventually he and Terezi left the room together. Unbeknownst to either of them, there were three very stunned Gryffindors in the room.

"Bloody Hell."

**Ah, more plot advances. Little shorter than usual, but whatever. So much fluff UwU CAN U GUESS WHO I SHIP? HAHA **

**SORRY IF KARKAT/TEREZI IS OUT OF CHARACTER.**

**Homestuck © Hussie (herr)**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	7. Chapter 7

Chpt. 7

"Bloody Hell," was all Ron could say after hearing what the two newcomers had just said.

"What did we just hear?" Hermione said, slightly panicked. Harry was at a loss for words, though he was able to pull the Invisibility Cloak off of them.

"I-" he stuttered, "I'm not sure."

"I'm not either. Do you think it was true?" Hermione asked. Harry walked over to the computer Karkat had left out.

"I don't know, but they seemed pretty convinced. Want to see who he was talking to?" Ron and Hermione gathered around the computer as Harry booted it up. The chat Karkat had previously initiated was still displayed on the screen.

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 6:12**

**CG: SOLLUX.**

**TA: oh my f***iing gog kk, cant you leave me alone for one 2econd?  
**

**CG: THERE'S BIGGER PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT.**

**TA: well whatever **

**TA: ii dont giive a f*****

**CG: WELL, YOU BETTER**

**CG: YOU'RE THE ONE IN CHARGE OF GETTING US BACK TO NORMAL.**

**TA: that mean2 ii would have two have 2ome 2ort of equiipment.**

**TA: iinca2e the meaniing iisnt clear, ii dont**

**TA: all ii have captalogued are my gla22e2 wiith trolliian in2talled**

**CG: WELL, GO FIND SOME F***ING EQUIPMENT.**

**CG: IT'S NOT THAT HARD.**

**TA: kk**

**TA: youre a2king me two change u2 back**

**TA: when ii have ab2olutely no iidea how two do that**

**TA: and ii dont even have any equiipment**

**CG: WELL FIND SOME, GENIUS.**

**CG: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE 'EXPERT HACKER'?  
**

**TA: yeah kk**

**TA: hackiing**

**TA: not majyk2**

**TA: 2ome one el2e can deal wiith that 2hiit**

**TA: liike kanaya2 mate2piiriit ro2e**

**CG: WELL**

**CG: THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP**

**CG: ASSWIPE.**

**CG: DON'T YOU THINK I ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT?**

**TA: can we ju2t 2top actiing liike wiigler2?**

**TA: were actiing liike we ju2t got out of the breediing cave2**

**CG: WANT TO PRETEND THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED?  
**

**TA: 2ure**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] quit trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 6:32**

"What's up with that one guy's weird way of talking?" Ron asked.

Hermione's shoulders sagged, "Really Ron?" she said, "That's all you're thinking about?"

"Hey!" he complained, "Excuse me for saying my thoughts!"  
Harry groaned, "Can you two stop fighting for a second? We need to find out what's going on."

Hermione gave Ron one last scathing look and turned back to Harry.

"You're absolutely right. They obviously aren't human, unless they're all delusional, which is highly unlikely, unless they were Confunded before whoever- or whatever- brought them to Grimmauld Place, but twinArmageddons isn't here, so he would have to be Confunded as well, and he could be anywhere," Hermione finished, breathless.

"Hermione?" Ron said with a pained look, "Please speak English."

"I am speaking English, Ron!" Just because you can't keep up with me, doesn't mean I'm speaking nonsense!" she snapped. Harry sighed.

"Can we stay on topic here?" he begged.

"What do you think was on Karkat's face?" Ron asked, changing the subject tactfully, "Do you think he was bleeding?"

Harry shrugged, "I dunno. His bed was stained red as well, if you want to take a look." Hermione went over to the bed and felt it curiously.

"Hey, it's wet." Harry frowned and felt it as well.

"You're right. I wonder what it is?" Ron looked at Harry and Hermione like they were crazy.

"Come on," he said like he was explaining something to some small kids, "It's obvious, isn't it?" Hermione raised her eyebrows imploringly.

"They're aliens, duh. That's Karkat's sweat, and-" Ron was cut off from his implausible theory as the window opened with loud bang. Long tendrils of blue light moved with a purpose into the room. Harry stood dumbstruck as they began to form a shape. He could have sworn he heard someone grumble, but the words were indistinguishable. The shape began to solidify, and soon a boy materialized in the room.

"F***!" he said as he fell on the floor, "I hate it when that happens!" Harry was too dumbstruck to say anything other than, "What?"

The boy stood up off the floor and dusted his pants off. He had untidy black hair with several cowlicks. He wore thick square glasses, and he had bright blue eyes not unlike a certain headmaster's. The glasses combined with his overbite gave him a very dorky look. His shirt was black with some sort of ghost on the front. He wore a dark green overcoat, jeans, and bright red shoes with decorative flames along the side.

"Hi!" he said with a large smile, "I'm John!"

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Ron asked.

'John' frowned, "I just told you. I'm John, remember?"

"Yeah, I know. I'm not stupid. I meant to ask, how the bloody hell did you get here?"

John seemed to think for a second, his eyes lit up with excitement, "I'm an immortal god with complete control over the wind from another universe who came here to protect you!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "The truth, if you don't mind."

John shrugged, "I dunno. Hey, have you seen my friend? He's short, grumpy, shouty..."

"Karkat?" Harry asked.

His face lit up, "Yeah! Beep beep meow! Was anyone with him?"

"Er, Terezi?" Hermione said, confused from his attitude.

He thought for a moment, and then, "Oh yeah! Terezi! I remember her! She was the one that threatened to kill me." He trailed off at the end.

"Why would she threaten to kill you? She seems pretty nice to me," Hermione asked, but she did remember the story she had told the other night.

John frowned, "We were talking online and I laughed with her and she thought I was laughing at her blindness. I kinda think she was joking, but I'm not quite sure. She did _almost _succeed, but that was an accident, and she helped me afterwards."

"You take her almost killing you very easy," Harry said, remembering some of the attempts on his own life.

"Immortal god, remember?" John said with a smile. Harry responded with a smile of his own.

"Of course," he said, "How could I forget?"  
John shrugged, "It happens a lot."

**Hopefully that fixed it.**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	8. Chapter 8

Chpt. 8

"Hey, so where's Karkat?" John asked looking at each of the Golden Trio in turn.

"I think he's downstairs," Hermione replied.

John snickered from behind his hand. "I can't wait to pull pranks on him." His face lit up with excitement, "I have one I can pull right now!" He began to sort through a

leather wallet.

"Don't let him meet Fred and George!" Ron groaned. John's interest was immediately piqued.

"Who? Do I sense some fellow pranksters?" Hermione nodded from the side, smiling a bit.

"Awesome." John pulled some cards out of the wallet, and they expanded into things and fell to the ground. Harry looked at the strange assortment of items on the floor. There was a bottle of strange pulsating slime, a rope, a rock, a paper and a pen, and a bucket.

"You know I don't really get what's so bad about buckets," he said as he sorted through the objects. He frowned at the rock.

"How did that get out?" he asked as he reached to pick it up. The moment he did, something was expelled from his Sylladex with the force of a bullet. It crashed through the window and outside the house.

John groaned at the window, "Why is it always the PDA?" he asked to no one in particular. "If only I could do the Windy Thing I could get it over here in a second," he grumbled.

"What's the Windy Thing?" Hermione asked.

John looked startled, "Oh sorry! Forgot you were there. The Windy Thing is just a little joke that I have. Heh..." John trailed off and Harry briefly wondered how John forgot they were there.

Hermione repaired the window, causing John to jump. "Rose wasn't kidding..." he muttered, "I thought that this might be another one of her weird wizard fantasies but nope, it's the real deal." He sat down on the floor and began to pour the slime into the bucket. He added some clear liquid and began to stir with a steel spoon

"Water," he said, looking at their faces, "So it's runnier and comes out more easily."  
"Oh," Hermione said weakly.

"Now, where is Karkat guaranteed to go? Eh, I'll just set it up in here and warn Terezi." He tied the rope around the handle and secured the knot. He picked the bucket up and stood on one of the beds. He threw the rope across a support beam and tied the other end to the door. If anyone were to come in, they would be soaked in slime.

John began to scribble on the paper he held, grinning wickedly. He placed it on Karkat's bed, and opened the door carefully, avoiding dropping the bucket. Harry allowed himself a moment to look at his note.

hey beep beep meow, you miss me?

He let himself laugh at the note, and offered it to Ron, who grinned similarly. Hermione frowned when it was passed to her.

"Usually I would warn Karkat," she said, "but he kind of deserves it.

"Git," Ron added passionately. The three exited the room, opening the door carefully.

John standing outside the kitchen, talking to Terezi happily.

"-god tier outfit on. Just felt like it would make me stand out more."

Terezi fake pouted, "But it's so very delicious. A real delicacy." She paused to give disgusted look at his current outfit. "Much better than Vriska's outfit. I mean, sure there's licorice and sour apple on the shirt," John smiled, "But it's covered that disgusting green. I can't even put a name to it."

John soundlessly took off one of his shoes and passed it to Terezi. She inhaled its scent, a wide grin stretching across her face.

"Okay," she conceded, "Maybe it isn't _all _bad." John grinned and took his shoe back after several complaints.

"Oh, by the way, if you go into your and Karkat's room, I recommend letting him go first," John said with a wink that was lost on Terezi. She cackled as John entered the kitchen to be greeted by Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh," she said, puzzled. "Who are you?" Harry, who had just entered the room, explained his appearance, omitting details about the prank he was planning.

"Well then," she said after Harry explained, "You must be hungry. You look underfed."

John smiled, "Yeah! I'm really hungry!" And he looked down at himself, "And I'm not _that _scrawny."

"Of course not dear," Mrs. Weasley said, turning around. John amused himself by flexing his muscles. He had pulled his sleeve back, revealing his arm. which was covered by many scars. Hermione let out a small gasp as he began to flex his near nonexistent muscles.

"I know, I'm so ripped aren't I?" he said, responding to Hermione's gasp.

"No, all those scars!"

John frowned and looked at his arm. "Oh," he said eventually, "These are nothing. I actually thought they would be gone."

"What do you mean they're nothing?" Ron asked, looking at a particularly long one on his forearm. John wordlessly removed his jacket and took his shirt off. Hermione squeaked and turned away.

"What?" he asked, "He wanted to know why they're nothing important." Hermione silently looked back, blushing profusely. Harry turned his attention back to John. He let out a small gasp.

"Bloody hell." A large scar was positioned directly over his heart, as though someone had stabbed him through his heart. John smiled and replaced his shirt.

"And that's why they are nothing!" he said brightly. Mrs. Weasley was too busy cooking to notice the kids' conversation.

"What'd you do? Get stabbed in the chest?" Ron asked.

"Uh, no!" John said, sweating slightly. "Do you have any music?" he asked, quickly changing the subject. Harry frowned and turned the radio on. It was set to a channel of Muggle music, and was playing the end of a song.

"It's the end of the world as we know it," it blared.

"And I feel fine. And I feel fine." John frowned at the music.

"The end of the world is nothing to joke about," he said so seriously that made Harry wonder if he was joking or not.

**HM, NEW CHAPTER OKAY. SORRY IF ANYONE'S OOC, I KNOW. NO KARKAT, HE'S OFF DOING STUFF, OKAY?**

**KAKARUSO: THANK YOU**

**HOMESTUCK © HUSSIE**

**HARRY POTTER © J.K. ROWLING**


	9. Chapter 9

Chpt. 9

"Are you all right?" Hermione asked John, who looked depressed.

He gave her a weak smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. But I doubt anyone who lived to see the end of the world would feel _fine._"

"I know I didn't," he muttered just loud enough for himself to hear.

"What'd you say mate?" Ron asked.

"Heh, nothing just, um, thinking out loud," he said a little too quickly. He laughed and scratched the back of his head. He began to look around the kitchen, and walked around a bit. He was lost in thought when he began to glow an eerie blue. John didn't seem to notice anything was happening, until Hermione said, "Um, John?"

"Yeah?"  
"You're glowing." He looked down at his body and began to run in a crazed manner.

"Oh not again! Not now!" he yelled as he ran around the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley turned away from her cooking to look at John.

"Oh dear," she said faintly.

John closed his eyes and looked like he was concentrating hard on something. The glow around him subsided, but his hand was still incased in the strange blue glow. With a small pop, his hand disappeared completely.

"Oh f***! Not now! Not now! Not ever for Gog's sake! Can't I ever get a break?" Mrs. Weasley was quite stunned by the turn of events and blinked to see if it was real.

"Oh," John said, "That's where it went." He was looking up at the ceiling where a hand was suspended in the air. John lifted up his arm and waved, and the hand did the same. It was then Terezi decided to come in.

She seemed to observe the events at hand, and promptly burst out laughing.

"Oh Gog, this is hilarious," she managed to say between bursts of laughter. John smiled at her as his hand began to slap the air before glowing blue once again and reappearing back on John's arm.

He happily flexed his newly returned arm and laughed, while the other people in the kitchen stared at him in confusion.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Ron asked. John shrugged, trying his best to look innocent while Terezi cackled in the background. At the incredulous look Hermione and Mrs. Weasley gave him, he decided to expand a little more.

"Okay, look," he said, "I really have no idea what's going on. Ever since I touched this one thing, I keep teleporting to random places. I don't like it, I don't want it, but it happens, okay?"

"When did that happen?" Terezi asked from the background.

"At the end of the three years." Terezi nodded a bit and sat down in a chair. Mrs. Weasley, who had finished cooking, passed plates of food down the table wordlessly. John sat down in a chair and began to pick at the eggs with his fork.

Mrs. Weasley wordlessly left to get the rest of the house, and Terezi sat down next to John and began to sniff the plate in front of her. She lifted the eggs to her nose before inhaling them with a smile. John watched as she began to repeat the process with the rest of her food.

He turned away from Terezi's display when Hermione asked, "What's your life like John?"

He smiled and began to talk. "Well, for thirteen years it was just me and my dad, my mom died when I was born, and I always felt like there was something missing in my life. I was, what would you call it? Homestuck. Yes," he said," Homestuck. I never left my house, not even for school because my dad home-schooled me. So, on my thirteenth birthday I got this game and-"  
"I thought we weren't talking about the game," Terezi said between a mouthful of food.

"I'm not going to," he said quickly.

"What's so important about a game?" Hermione snorted, "It's not like they're real."

"Uh, yeah. Right. Um, so I played the game with my friend Rose, my other friend Dave, and my sister Jade."

"Wait," Hermione said, "I thought you said you just lived with your dad. You didn't say anything about a sister."

"Well, Jade's like a half-sister. We're related, but it's really confusing. And she didn't live with me because she lived on an island in the Pacific Ocean, where she was raised by her grandpa who died when he was shot by a toddler dual-wielding flintlock pistols, so Jade was raised by her dog."

"Um, okay?" Ron said, "But this makes no sense. You're like what, fifteen, sixteen? Where did you go for three years?"  
"Three years," he said bitterly. "Of absolutely nothing. Just me, Jade, and tons of random Consorts."  
"Wait, what about your dad?" Harry asked, confused from how he got from being homestuck to being with Jade and Consorts, whatever they were.

"And what are Consorts?" Hermione asked.

"My dad died," he said simply. "And Jade and I got stuck in this place for three years. And Consorts are awesome, though some of them aren't all that bright. Like, the crocodiles, all they say is, 'nak nak nak nak nak money economy' , and all the iguanas say is 'thip thip thip thip bluh bluh bluh,'. The turtles don't say anything, but at least the salamanders can talk, even if it is very random."

"Oh, that reminds me," John said happily. "I need to take Casey and Vodka Mutini out. I personally like Dr. Meowgon Spangler better but it's Rose's cat."

He pulled out his wallet and sifted through the cards. He grabbed two, and they expanded into two strange shapes.

One was a small black kitten. It looked completely normal except for the extra set of white eyes on its forehead. It mewed happily and jumped onto Harry, who pet it tentatively.

The other animal was the stranger of the two. It looked like a yellow lizard, but it was a foot tall and stood on it's hind legs. It blew a large bubble and popped it.

John squeezed it tight. "This is my adopted salamander daughter, Casey." 'Casey' blew another bubble and popped it in John's face, who simply laughed and wiped the spittle off.

**Chpt. 9! Awkward place to end, but whatever. Sorry if anyone's OOC (again). The next update's not going to be for a while because my family's going on vacation for 2 weeks. So, next update's in 2+ weeks. Thanks for all the kind comments and such! No Karkat for you this chapter, but if you want to listen to an awesome Karkat song look up Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons. Okay, I'll be going now.**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	10. Chapter 10

Chpt. 10

Mrs. Weasley returned with Ginny and the twins behind her. She gave John a kind look, before noticing the salamander by him.

"Oh my," she said simply, "What's that?"

John beamed brightly at her, "That's my salamander, Casey." Fred and George looked from behind her. They looked at Casey's bubble and smirked.

"Oh, well then, I suppose that's alright," she said, because at this point, nothing would surprise her.

John smiled and grabbed Casey's hand, and extending his free arm for Vodka Mutini to climb on.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "And this is my friend's cat, Vodka Mutini, or Mutie for short." He pat her head as she nuzzled his cheek.

"Well then, would you like some more breakfast?" she asked.

"Yeah!" John exclaimed, "This is the best food I've had in a long time!" He sat down, Karkat still not present. He began to practically inhale his toast.

"I'd like some more too, if that's alright," Terezi said happily, having emptied her plate of all food.

"Hey," John said, "Where's Karkat?"

"'He's probably off sulking somewhere. He'll show up eventually," Terezi said.

"Well, okay then." The twins and Ginny went to sit down, the twins on either side of John and Ginny next to Terezi. Harry and the others sat down as well while Mrs. Weasley used her wand to pass plates filled with food down the table and took John and Terezi's empty plates away, replacing them.

John offered a piece of toast to Casey, who took it in her stubby arms and somehow managed to get the bread in her mouth, and swallowed it in one gulp.

"Hey," he said to Mrs. Weasley, "Is there a pet shop around here that we can go to? I need to feed Mutie.

"I can pick some up when we go to Diagon Alley once the owls arrive."

"Die again alley?" Terezi said with a hint of laughter, "That's a little crude."

"It's Diagon Alley, not die again alley," Hermione said to Terezi, who just shrugged.

"I have a some money to pay for it," John said to Mrs. Weasley completely ignoring the conversation in the background.

"Oh, it's quite alright."

"No, really. I have more than enough." Mrs. Weasley gave in and nodded as John stood up.

He passed the empty plate to her and left in a hurry, a mischievous smile forming. Fred and George glanced at each other and began to stuff their mouths full of food, most likely hoping to see what he had planned. Harry too, was interested and ate his food ate a rate that Ron would be proud of, even though he had finished his food a few minutes earlier. Hermione looked at them, obviously disgusted, and continued at a normal rate.

Harry sat at the table, patiently waiting for Hermione to finish despite the fact that he was itching to go see what was going on upstairs.

Ron, however, was not so considerate. "Come on 'Mione!" he moaned. "Finish your food already!"

Hermione scowled at him, about to reprimand him, but was cut off from a loud crash from upstairs.

Harry, Ron, Terezi and the twins jumped up from there seats, running upstairs with Hermione trailing after them.

Terezi was the first up, a look of both horror and amusement on her green tinted face as she cackled at Karkat. Harry took a moment to wonder why she felt sick, but turned his attention to the screaming boy

Karkat was screaming his head off. "HOLY F*** IS THAT A BUCKET ON MY HEAD? IT BETTER NOT BE, OH GOD." He freed his head from the bucket, and once he had confirmed his suspicions, he screamed and threw it across the room, and began to back up as far as he could on the other side, barely noticing the slime that had dumped on his head.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD," he screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHO WOULD DO THAT? OH F*** OH F***, IT WAS ON MY HEAD!" Karkat continued to yell, oblivious to the visitors outside his open door. He noticed the note left on his bed, and cautiously approached it, his eyes still wide and breathing hard.

He read it, and his face turned a brilliant shape of red. He looked positively murderous, and he ran to the window.

"F***BERT!" he roared, "I WILL KILL YOU, WATCH YOU REGENERATE, AND KILL YOU AGAIN, YOU FILTHY NOOKSNIFFER! I WILL POUR A HOT STEAMING BOWL OF F*** YOU OVER YOUR DEAD BODY AS YOU TRY TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR NOOK, YOU-" Karkat was interrupted from his tirade as John interrupted him with a loud laugh.

"Sorry Karkat," he said between laughs, "You're shouting in the wrong direction." Karkat looked around for the source of the voice, along with Harry, though Terezi just smiled.

"Look up f***ass." Karkat did, revealing John to be sitting on a support beam. Harry wondered how he got up there, but the thought was pushed to the back of his mind as Karkat began to speak.

"Come down here so I can strangle you with your own perverted hands."

"Um, how about, no. Come on Karkat, it's just a prank."

"JUST A PRANK?" Karkat roared, "HOW DUMB DO YOU GET?"

Terezi was laughing incredibly hard, and Karkat finally noticed them in the doorway. Fred and George fist-bumped each other.

"I'm dealing with you asses later after I kill John."

"Don't you ever play pranks Karkat?" John asked from the beam.

"I don't play pranks, that's juvenile nonsense. I do two things, and two things only, I devastate sorry motherf***ers, and get shit done as an awesome leader."

"I feel like I've heard that before."

"Hey Nubby, didn't you give up being a leader?" Terezi asked.

"Yeah. But _someone_ has to keep the assholes in line." Terezi shrugged and went back to laughing at Karkat.

`John snickered, "So Karkat, I thought you were taller."  
"GET DOWN HERE YOU BRAINDEAD ASSWIPE!" Karkat wiped a bit of slime off his face as he yelled.

John grinned mischievously, "Okay." He jumped off the beam, landing on Karkat. Hermione gasped as John's foot met Karkat's face. Surprisingly, neither fell down.

"Out of the way!" John yelled as he began to push Karkat towards the door with a surprising amount of strength. Harry jumped out of the way as John pushed Karkat towards the stairs, despite the loud and angry protests from the latter.

"He wouldn't!" Hermione gasped.

As John drew closer to the stairs Ron said, "He would." John and Karkat were near the stairs, and with a push, Karkat began to fall the stairs. John grinned as he fell down the stairs, cursing and yelling.

"What was that for?" Harry asked, confused.

John smirked, "It's just a big old push down the friendship stairs."

"I warned you about stairs, bro!" John shouted to Karkat.

**/lame pun is lame. Heh, new chapter. I decided that being one chapter ahead is INCREDIBLY STUPID. :T I'll try to get another chapter up before I leave for summer camp next week. I'll be gone for a week. In other news, I FINALLY watched Con Air. My life is now complete UwU**

**Thanks for all the ****fans/follows/reviews! It really means a lot**

**EDIT: HOLY SHIT MOST EMBARRASSING TYPO EVER /shot**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	11. Chapter 11

Chpt. 11

Karkat replied by flipping John off once he had gotten to his feet. John copied the gesture and laughed at Karkat's face.

Karkat sighed and rolled his eyes as John bounded down the stairs.

"Really though," John said, "I thought you were taller."

"I don't give a f*** what you think."

John batted his eyelashes, "Do you haaaaaaaate me Karkat?" He spoke like a girl asking a boy if he, 'loved her'.

"Yes." John raised his eyebrows, smirking. "In a totally platonic way."

"What!?" Hermione exclaimed, for she was the only one besides John, Karkat and Terezi that knew what 'platonic' meant.

John laughed at her face, "It's an inside joke."

She nodded hesitantly, unsure what to make of it.

"I'm hungry," Karkat said, abruptly changing the subject. "Is there anything to eat?"

John pointed to the kitchen and Karkat walked slowly to the door.

"Well, I'm going to go see how well your mom can handle Karkat," John said happily, and bounced into the kitchen. Everyone except the twins followed to finish their breakfast, and maybe to watch Karkat get chewed out by Mrs. Weasley. Harry hung behind with Hermione.

"What does platonic mean?"

She blushed. "Nonsexual," she said quickly and quietly.

If Harry had had any liquid in his mouth, he would have done a spit-take. He stared at her wide-eyed, and she glanced at the kitchen, both friends moving towards the door with an awkward silence hanging in the hair.

Karkat was sitting at the table, poking at his eggs grumpily, and Mrs. Weasley was cooking more breakfast, the dishes doing themselves.

John looked at the dishes grumpily, "Why didn't I think of doing that?" he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing..."

"Hey Karkat?"  
"Yes John?"

"Why do you have 69 on your shirt?"

"What?"

"Never mind..." John giggled to himself a bit while Karkat just looked extremely annoyed, which Harry took to be his regular face. "What-" Whatever it was Karkat was going to say was interrupted by the arrival of owls.

One sat on Karkat's toast, it's leg extended. "Okay why the f*** is there a hootbeast on my food?"

Mrs. Weasley gave him a stern glare, "Language."

"I think he wants you to take the letter, Karkat," John said having already retrieved his letter.

Karkat grabbed the letter and the owl took off.

He opened it and as he read, his scowl became more pronounced. "Okay, what kind of idiot names a school Hogwarts? Is this a prank John?"

"What!? You got a letter?" Hermione exclaimed.

"I guess I should open my letter then," John said.

He pulled a letter out of it and a piece of paper drifted to the ground. He picked it up and examined it. He smiled and handed the paper to Karkat, who took it and read it over quickly.

"Oh," he said gruffly.

"What does it say?" Terezi asked, pushing her way to Karkat. He passed it to her.

"Wait, how is she going to-?" Ron asked as Terezi held the paper close to her face. She sniffed the paper, and _licked it. _And kept licking it.

Karkat looked uncomfortable, "Okay Terezi, you can stop licking the paper now."

"I'm not done."

"GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN PAPER!" Karkat shouted and attempted to grab it. Terezi held it up in her arm, her height giving her an advantage.

John was openly laughing at both of them. Even Mrs. Weasley seemed amused.

"Aren't you going to help him?" Harry asked.

"Are you?" John countered.

"Point taken." Terezi snarled as Karkat managed to get the letter back. Harry could see that his hand was fairly wet where he held the paper. For some reason, the thought made him feel satisfied.

Karkat wiped the slobber on his shirt and gave the letter to Mrs. Weasley who dried it with her wand. "There's a section in there for you," he said.

She thanked him and read it over, frowning at the paper.

"Well that clears things up a bit."

"What did it say?" Harry asked John, who smirked and shook his head.

"Oh, nothing that concerns you." Harry frowned, but didn't push on.

"I'm going to go open mine upstairs," he said suddenly, turning around to go upstairs. Hermione and Ron followed him, Hermione turning to go into her room. Harry faintly heard John and Mrs. Weasley discussing something, but he wasn't paying attention.

Harry sat on his bed and opened his letter, reading over the supplies. He looked at Ron who was staring openmouthed at something in his hand.

Harry went over and looked at what had Ron so surprised.

"Bloody hell," he said, "I never thought- I always thought Dumbledore would've picked _you_." Harry couldn't speak, something bitter and vile began to gnaw on his gut when he saw the prefect badge in Ron's hand, so much like the one he had seen Percy flaunt throughout the school year.

"Can I look at it?" he managed to choke out. Ron passed it to him, and he stared at it, many questions racing through his head.

Harry heard something outside, and Hermione came barreling in. She looked at the badge in Harry's hand and squealed. "You too Harry? I-"

"It's Ron's," Harry said stiffly before she could go on.

A look of bewilderment crossed her face, but it was soon replaced by a look of excitement.

"Oh, I just thought-"

"It's mine."

"We're prefects!" she said, unable to get over the fact. "I can't believe it-"

"Can't believe that I'm a prefect?" Ron asked harshly.

"No! I just-" Hermione was interrupted by the arrival of the twins. They saw the badge in Ron's hand and smirked.

"Is ickle Ronnykins a prefect?" George asked. Harry dully noted Ron's ears turning red.

"Well, I'm afraid we have to disown you," Fred said.

"Yes, Mum's going to throw a fit."

"Be seeing you."

"Okay." Harry looked up at the door and saw Karkat standing outside the room. He looked extremely pissed, though Harry had come to understand that was his normal face. "Do any of you f***asses understand the meaning of quiet?"

There was some laughing outside the door, "Do you?"

"SHUT UP JOHN!" he yelled back, returning to the room where he came from.

"I think I'm going to go downstairs," Ron said slowly. Harry followed him out the door, and saw Mrs. Weasley at the bottom of the staircase talking to Ron.

She was looking at the badge in his hand, and the pieces clicked. "Oh my god! You're a prefect! That's everyone in the family!"

Fred and George frowned. "And what are we, next door neighbors?"  
She ignored their outburst and continued on, "What should I get you? You already have an owl, and new dress robes..."

Ron looked unsure, "How about a broom? Nothing too expensive though!"

"Of course. I'll pick it up in a little while."

"Thanks Mum." The feeling inside Harry's stomach grew worse.

**That's an awkward place to ****leave it, but oh well. /shrug This was kind of a hard chapter to write (thank god half of it was already finished) but it was fun. Because it had the most awesome line ever. **_"__And what are we, next door neighbors?"_ **When I first read it, I cracked up so hard. Ah… Has anyone seen any good movies recently? My dad took me to see Edge of Tomorrow (omfg that movie was amazing) and the whole time I was thinking 'Dave could be in that'. XD Also saw the new X-Men which was really good too. ASDFGHJKL; HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THE WINTER SOLDIER? FFFFFF- Okay I'm done ranting.**

**-SkaianClouds**

**Homestuck © Hussie**

**Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling**


	12. Author's Note (Please Read!)

**Hey guys, the update's going to take a bit longer than planned. My family's going camping, and I wasn't able to smuggle my computer. :( So, two weeks, at least. Until then, I would like you guys to send in your favorite ships. I'll try to include them in the story, though it isn't guranteed. :)**

**~SkaianClouds**


End file.
